Hey everyone, I hope all is well with all of you. Just a journal on my end regarding a few things you can expect from me soon and changes I'd like to make.
First, I do think I will pursue that commission widget to a degree, thus opening the possibility of points commissions that weren't available previously. Thank you to those of you who commented on the matter. Second, commission slots are open, as always. Currently I am working on finishing up a very special commission. It's been slow since I've been recovering from illness, but it will be done soon and I'm already proud of it.
After that, my art list is currently free. I may take on another gift project, but we shall see.
In regards to a change I'd like to make, I want to do more personal art. I think this also a good time to retire my current journal layout, which I have loved for many years and has served me well. Ever since things happened last year, my whole life was upheaved and I had a massive reality check. Things that were extremely important to me before just weren't anymore, and many of my life's dreams died. That may sound incredibly depressing, but the zest and drive just wasn't there anymore. I had loved and hoped for so long, but when you're thrust in a situation where you're dealing with so much loss, all you really want are the simple things. My hopes for Niraven were dashed with that. In a different world, things might have been different. There was almost a contract to put it through as a game at one point, but alas, things fell through and it was not to be. I don't pursue it seriously anymore. I haven't even touched it since things have happened. I think it lost the era in which it would have thrived most. In the years between when the project would have been in full-swing and released, it would have done well, but now with current advances and competition, I just don't feel it has enough going for it anymore. That being said, I will probably still pick away at it from time to time, and you will still likely see characters and designs from me as personal art muses (especially Spectre and Dierdre, and likely also such concepts as the Water Griffin). But nothing so serious anymore. At least, it's very unlikely. The purpose for which I would have created it seems to be fulfilled very well by some of the newer games now, and it's just a short matter of time before the battle system we had theorized will be used, I'm sure. Niraven was never so much about me, it was the excitement of creating for others. Now that things have happened as they have, I really want to do things for me. The focus has shifted. I want to express myself more than create expressions through which others can express at this point.
It's been so long since I've done absolutely proper and inspired personal artwork. I'm very good at the cutesy stuff, the bright colors-- but, that's not me. I love vivid colors, but mostly I love vivid amongst dark, and I love the dark and creeping concepts most of all. I also love working with male subjects, something I have rarely touched even in my commissions. Believe it or not, men come most naturally! Women are beautiful and thus get all the attention, and my boys aren't "pretty", but I enjoy masculine features. I want to get back in touch with me and who I am as an artist. I know I say this now, and probably won't do nearly as much art as I would like or should, but it's important. Commissions don't interfere, it's been all the other things getting in the way, really. I want to expand my artwork into the realms I enjoy most in hopes more commissions of those types will come to me, too, to keep it varied and inspired.
So back to the journal bit. I love purple, obviously. I adore so many colors but jade or purple seem to express my affections best in a nutshell. Thus I want to keep the color. I've found so much of my inspiration has been derived from a Sylvari character I made in GW2. It is eye candy, and it feels like "me" from the inside-out. I've even gotten comments out of the blue from others on how very "me" she is, in all her rather dark yet beautiful feel. So I do believe she will be the subject of my next journal layout, for the Sylvari are graceful and gorgeous, inspired and vivid, and I want to allow my artwork to mature into these realms I love so dearly. Now I just need to figure out how to put that into a cool layout.
You can also expect, if I indeed pursue more personal artwork quickly, that you will be seeing Sniper from TF2. I've been doodling him on and off and have been dying to do a proper artwork as I see him. These "me" things are what I want to focus on more and more. I'd also love to do tributes to some of my very favorite games, such as Alice: Madness Returns and Jet Force Gemini. I do love Zelda still, of course it is my favorite, but it is also something that has been a very prominent part of my artwork since I was a kid. I see the calendar contest and related events as fantastic challenges to wed my darker ideas and personal taste with classic Zelda, and that's where that art belongs. When I feel inspiration bubble up there again or if I'm commissioned, of course I will gladly do more Zelda artwork. But Zelda is the familiar, and in my personal work for me, I want to step into the unfamiliar and challenge myself. I know I can do amazing work, learn so much, and mature as an artist. I've been told this by so many, and I know it in the core of my being. But I also know you get to these positions not by making the generic portfolio everyone tells you to, but by expressing yourself for who you are in your artwork. That is the single factor that can make someone both irresistible and incredibly happy with what they do. I want to, even if it's slowly, work towards this new goal, however subtle. Even if it never becomes a full-time position, my feedback can still influence, my designs can still inspire, and my personal artwork is still an expression of who I am, and that in itself makes me happy.