New Schedule by *Niraven on deviantART

Hey everyone, I hope all is well with all of you. I got more commission lineart done last night and am coloring another commission today. If no game assignments crop up this week, then I'll be coloring a commission everyday this week until Thursday (which is a mandatory housework day since we have company Friday). That will effectively cut my commission list in half. I've also been working on lineart in the evenings.

I had a bit of a breakdown this morning. Not knowing whether or not I'll have to go back to America is like knowing the date and time of your death. It's like having a giant countdown clock in your head constantly, and it deeply affects my ability to feel motivated to take care of myself and do things that would be good for me. It results in a constant depression and feeling of stress. So, to help me, my husband is helping me make a new schedule so that I can get the most out of the day. I'm very self-disciplined if I have guidelines for myself, so I'm hoping this will help pick me up and put me back on my feet a bit. We're still waiting to hear about the job interview my husband had-- we'll hear at the end of the week. Please continue to hope and pray with us that this is the job, so I won't have to go back to America and can enjoy a beautiful summer here at home instead. I can't tell you how much that would heal my heart and my spirit, and I think that would cure the vast majority of my depression. I just want normalcy again.

The past couple days I didn't work on commissions (prior to yesterday) was very good for me. I hung up and rearranged pictures and frames around the house, hung up some key hooks, gave my plants some much-needed TLC, and overall just did a lot of hands-on housework. We even moved the old TV upstairs (it was just sitting on a bureau in the living room for a couple years) and hung the giant oriental fan. I've also been looking at the office and all the game merch we have and I'm itching so badly to reorganize and sell the lot of it. Something about being away from home makes me want to get rid of a lot of things. I'm not sure that makes sense, just in a way I want a fresh beginning. If I get to stay home over the summer, I know by the end of it that I'll have cleaned and rearranged the house like I've wanted to do, including redoing the "guest room". I can't tell you how much I miss summer walks by the river, playing football on the lawn, and having the balcony door open to feel the sun rays on my feet. I long for it all so badly. I hope with everything in me that my husband gets the job and contract so I can stay. It means everything to me.