--of days before Christmas. Time flies, doesn't it? I hope all is well with all of you, as always. I noticed I hadn't updated in a little while, therefore an update is due.
I'm never quite sure where or how to start with things since I've been in America. It's still surreal, so stressful, and I think there's an inability to settle because it's not home, like there's a constant itch in the spine that won't be cured until I go home in Feb. We don't know if it's to stay yet, but we sure hope so...
Anyway, financial crunch has been more apparent than ever. I've been living at the mercy of people's kindness. It's very difficult and humbling, because I don't have money for my own food, shelter, things I would have back home. Couple that with me having to spend huge dollar amounts on new papers before I go back home, and it's a mess. I'm going to have to fork out $26 for yet another birth certificate and $200 for a passport renewal. I've already had to pay through the nose for new I.D.'s etc and transportation to get around, since I don't drive (what's the point when I lived in Holland?). So you can imagine how much I've been nail-biting when I have so little money to begin with, and the various government (passport) agencies have been giving me such a hard time over my Dutch marriage certificate, it's been incredibly difficult. I only hope when I go for application on what I hope is the 23rd, that they'll accept it without problems. Once all my new papers have my married name, it'll be smooth-sailing for the rest of my life. But this is the difficult part (as I keep saying regarding everything lately it seems...).
Admittedly, it's also been difficult because of course it's at this moment where I can't afford anything that Hyrule Historia is announced and it looks 95% certain I have the resources to get it despite it being Japan-only, and of course the Alice: Madness Returns figures I had been waiting for all year decide to release now. Makes me want to smack my head on the desk, it's unfair! Any other time before this mess during the year and they would have been very affordable. Now I have to get really creative. =\
But anyway, it's not all quite so stressful. My husband arrives here on the 23rd. I've missed him so much, it'll be so great to see him. He'll stay with me until the 11th and then he has to go back home. I really, really hope everything goes smoothly and we have a wonderful visit. It still hasn't sunk in it's so close, I think because my body has mentally and physically shut down all forms of anticipation after what happened to me in Belgium.
I've been keeping very busy though. Even though I haven't been around here much, there's far from such thing as a day off in my life. It seems everyday I'm helping someone else, or calling some government agency trying to arrange papers and make this period as smoothe and pain-free as possible. I only just got started on my "art project" yesterday. I made good progress today, and I'm excited to have it finished soon. It's the first "personal" artwork I've done this year, and yet it's not even for me! So I guess it doesn't really count, but anyway I'll be posting that around Christmas, so keep an eye out. I did make more progress on commissions but didn't update the list yet since they're all rough sketches. I hope to have them all done by the time I go home in Feb.
Other than that, just biding my time one day at a time and praying all my paperwork goes through smoothly, and that when I finally do get to go home in Feb, that I can go to stay. Even then, there's a certain sadness at the thought just because my Jake won't be waiting for me or greeting me at the door...
I dearly hope though, that things only get better from here, and I thank you all for your continued understanding in how difficult this has been and how much it's thrown off my work routine. Let's all hope that it's only good news from here, no more waiting, and that I can go home safe and sound as soon as possible. I hope you're all having a wonderful holiday with your friends and loved ones.
= linework completed,
= coloringOriginal journal layout by `ginkgografix